Trust

There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband.   For example:

 A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.   From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.   She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

 As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

 "Hi Honey", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say "hello?

Only one seat please!

 

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The old man just groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the old man just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?" "Fred," the old man moaned. "Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer. With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, "The balcony."