Texas Translations of California Euphemisms.

In California                                          In Texas
 Diverse or Lifestyle Choice                    Sinful and Perverted

Arsenal of Weapons                               Gun Collection

Delicate Wetlands                                   Swamp

Undocumented Worker                             Illegal Alien

Cruelty-Free Materials                              Synthetic Fiber

Assault and Battery                                 Attitude Adjustment

Heavily Armed                                          Well-protected

Narrow-minded                                         Righteous

Taxes or Your Fair Share                            Coerced Theft

Commonsense Gun Control                         Gun Confiscation Plot

Illegal Hazardous Explosives                  Fireworks or Stump Removal

Nonviable Tissue Mass                                 Unborn Baby

Equal Access to Opportunity                          Socialism

Multicultural Community                               High Crime Area

Fairness or Social Progress                             Marxism

Upper Class or "The Rich"                                Self-Employed

Progressive, Change                                     Big Government Scheme

Homeless or Disadvantaged                        Bums or Welfare Leeches

Sniper Rifle                                                         Scoped Deer Rifle

Investment For the Future                                Higher Taxes

Healthcare Reform                                           Socialized Medicine

Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater                       Conservative

Truants                                                               Homeschoolers

Victim or Oppressed                                         Criminal or Lazy
                                                                              Good-For-Nothing

High Capacity Magazine                        Standard Capacity Magazine

Religious Zealot                                                  Church-going

Reintroduced Wolves                                           Sheep and Elk Killers

Fair Trade Coffee                                        Overpriced Yuppie Coffee

Exploiters or "The Rich"                               Employed or Land Owner

The Gun Lobby                                                        NRA Members

Assault Weapon                               Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)

Fiscal Stimulus                                      New Taxes and Higher Taxes

Same Sex Marriage                                            Legalized Perversion

Mandated Eco-                                              Chinese Mercury-Laden
    Friendly Lighting                                                Light Bulbs