Friday, June 17, 2016

1956 Chevy


The proud owner of a magnificent 1956 Chevrolet convertible, wrote to say he had restored the car to perfection over the last few years, and sent this......
 
On a very warm summer afternoon he decided to take his car to town.  It needed gas, as the gauge was practically on empty, but he wanted ice cream, so he headed first to his favorite ice cream shop.
 
He had trouble finding a parking space and had to park the car down a side street.   He noticed a group of young guys standing around smoking cigarettes and eyeing my car rather covetously.  He was a bit uneasy leaving it there, but people often take interest in such an old and well-preserved car, so he went off to enjoy his ice cream.

The line at the ice cream shop was long and it took him quite a while to return to his car.  When he did, his worst fears were realized… his car was gone.

He called the police and reported the theft and then went back and bought a quart of pistachio ice cream.  About ten minutes later the police called him to say they had found the car abandoned near a gas station a few miles out of town.

It was unharmed and he was relieved.  It seems just before he called, the police had received a call from a young woman who was an employee at a self-service gas station.  She told them that three young men had driven in with this beautiful old convertible.  One of them came to the window and prepaid for 20 dollars-worth of gas.

Then all three of them walked around the car, looking at it carefully, and then just walked away…….without filling the tank.

The question is, why would anybody steal a car, pay for gas that they never pumped, and then abandon the car later and walk away?
 
Answer: They couldn't find where to put the gas!

 

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Cool

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Breakfast in bed

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need ... not all this, "How did you get into my house?" business.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Therapy

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Robe distance

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Another classic

Paddy says to Mick, "I'm getting circumcised tomorrow.”

Mick says, "I had that done when I was a few days old."

Paddy asks, "Does it hurt?"

Mick says, "Well I couldn't walk for about a year.”