Difficult and impossible words.

WORDS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

 

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
5. Indubitably

 

WORDS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

 

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

 

WORDS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

 

1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. I’m not interested in fighting you.
6. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real fool!
7. Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

 

Dinner party chatter

My wife hosted a dinner party for all our friends, some of whom we hadn't seen for ages and everyone was encouraged to bring their children along as well.


All throughout dinner my wife's best friend's four-year-old daughter stared at me as I sat opposite her.


The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.


I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, and patted my hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at me.


Finally I asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"


Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior, and the table went quiet, waiting for her response.


The little girl said, "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a fish."

Christmas shopping

A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.

 The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

 Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…

"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the bar next to that."

Low man on the totem pole

All of the nine senior members of the Board of Directors of the company were called into the chairman's office one by one until only Bob, the sole junior member, was left sitting outside.


Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the office to find the chairman and the ten other directors seated around the board table. He was invited to join them, which of course he did.


As soon as he sat down, the chairman turned to Bob looking him squarely in the eyes, and with a stern voice, asked, Have you ever had sex with Mrs. Foyt, my secretary?


Oh, no sir!, positively not! Bob replied. Are you absolutely sure? asked the chairman.


Honest, I have never even been close enough to touch her! You swear to that?


Yes, I swear I've never had sex with Mrs. Foyt anytime or anywhere.


"Good, then you fire her!"