PM Green

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I wish I'd said that ...

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words...

·    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

·    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

·    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

·    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

·    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow

·    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

·    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

·    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

·    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

·    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

·    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response.

·    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

·    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

·    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

·    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

·    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

·    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

·    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

·    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

·    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

·    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

·    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

·    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

·    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx 

Places I have and have not been

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.


I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!

I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.

Engineering Flowchart

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Romantic dinner

A man and woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware her dining companion had disappeared.

The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."

God's sense of humor

While creating women, God promised men that good and obedient women would be found in all corners of the world.

--- and then He made the earth round.

Father of the year

I hope you had a great Holloween!