Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Kiddie operations

Two little boys are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'

The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done When I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze.'

The second kid then asks, 'What areYou here for?' The first kid says, 'ACircumcision.' And the second kid says, 'Whoa, GoodLuck, buddy, I had that done when I wasBorn...................... Couldn't walk for a year.'

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Are pigs smart?

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take themto the county fair and sell them.

At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking abit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmerslived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, andfind a field in which to let the pigs mate. The first morning, the farmerwith the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the familystation wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirtymiles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know ifthey are pregnant?"

The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in the morning,they're pregnant . If they're in the mud,they're not."

The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off,loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.This continued each morning for more than a week.

The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife,"Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud orin the grass."

"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."

Oh honey, can we keep him?


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Makes my head hurt to think about it.

There's something about those sites...

Be careful when you name your company if you are planning a web site !!! All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time to consider how their on line name might appear!

These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. 'Who Represents' is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com

2. 'Experts Exchange' is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at:www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than' Pen Island '. It can be found at:www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company. Check it out at:www.powergenitalia.com

6.'IP computer' software, there's always: www.ip_anywhere.com

7. And the designers at 'Speed of Art' await you at their wacky Web site:www.speedofart.com