Observations on military safety

1. "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons. "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you
2. "Cluster bombing from B52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
3. "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
4. "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
5. "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
6. "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
7. "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
8. "When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
9. "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot messes up, the pilot dies; If ATC messes up ... the pilot dies."
10. "Never trade luck for skill."
11. The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh NO!"
12. "Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
13. "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
14. "Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."
15. "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; It can just barely kill you."