The couple had been happily married and living on their farm for more than fifty years when, sadly, Gladys passed away. When informed of the cost of an obituary the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “How Much?” He reluctantly produced his wallet. “I want summat simple" he explained. “My Gladys was a good-hearted and hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wun't ‘ave wanted owt swanky."
“Perhaps a small poem?” suggested the woman at the desk.
"Nay, lass" he said. "She wun't ‘ave wanted anything la-di-da. Just put:- ‘Gladys Braithwaite’s died'.”
"You need to say when she died," he was told by the receptionist
"Do I? Well, then put 'Died 17th December 2015'. That’ll do."
"It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed, sir."
The man considered for a moment. "Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed.’ That’ll do," he said.
"You can have another four words" the woman explained.
"No, no lass!" he cried. "She wouldn’t ‘ave wanted me to splash out like that."
“The words are included in the price. You've already paid for them," the woman informed him.
"Are they? I’ve already paid for ‘em?"
"Yes, sir, indeed you have."
"Well, if I’ve paid for ‘em," exclaimed the man, "I’m ‘avin’ ‘em then!"
The obituary was duly printed. "Gladys Braithwaite. Died 17th December 2015. Sadly missed. Also, tractor for sale."
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