We've all wanted to do this.

First F-117 at DM "bone yard"

Click image to enlarge

Texas

It's hard to believe, but Texas has followed that idiot newspaper up in New York, and released a map of the location of all gun owners.
Their locations are marked by red dots.

Cowboy at the Pearly Gates

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked a cowboy at the Pearly Gates.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the crap out of all of you!

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'