COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . . . . .

65 above zero:Floridians turn on the heat.People in Minnesota plant gardens.
60 above zero:Californians shiver uncontrollably.People in Minnesota sunbathe.
50 above zero:Italian & English cars won't start.People in Minnesota drive with the windowsdown.
40 above zero:Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves,wool hats.People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:New York landlords finally turn up the heat.People in Minnesota have the last cookoutbefore it gets cold.
20 above ZeroPeople in Miami all die.Minnesotans close the windows.
Zero:Californians fly away to Mexico .People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:Hollywood disintegrates.The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are sellingcookies door to door.
20 below zero:Washington DC runs out of hot air.People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.Minnesotans get upset because they can'tstart the Snow-mobile.
40 below zero:ALL atomic motion stops.People in Minnesota start saying...'Coldenough fer ya?'
50 below zero:Hell freezes over.Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late