Kiddie operations

Two little boys are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'

The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done When I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze.'

The second kid then asks, 'What areYou here for?' The first kid says, 'ACircumcision.' And the second kid says, 'Whoa, GoodLuck, buddy, I had that done when I wasBorn...................... Couldn't walk for a year.'

Hard day

It's obvious isn't it?

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?' Again, the answer was, 'NO!'

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?' I asked them again. Again, they all answered, 'NO!'

I was just bursting with pride for them. 'Well,' I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?'
A five-year-old boy shouted out, …

'YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.'