Family problems

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

 

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

 

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

From my amiga in Costa Rica

Those that drink alcohol are alcoholics.
Those that drink Fanta are fantastic.

Invasion of the USA

A Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat, rowing towards California.

"The captain gets on the loud hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading?"

One of the Mexicans stands up and shouts, "We are invading the United States!"

The crew of the destroyer all start laughing and when the captain finally stops laughing, he gets back on the loud hailer and says, "Just the four of you?"

The Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four, the rest are already there!"

Toughest bridge in the world

Hot new body piercing for women

Women are Angels

And when someone breaks their wings,
they simply continue to fly...usually on a broomstick.
They're flexible like that.

How they got their name

How engineers came up with a name for them.