Fighting the man.

A musician named Dave Carroll recently had difficulty with United Airlines. United apparently damaged his treasured Taylor guitar ($3,500) during a flight. Dave spent over 9 months trying to get United to pay for damages caused by baggage handlers to his custom guitar. During his final exchange with the United Customer Relations Manager, he stated that he was left with no choice other than to create a music video for YouTube exposing their lack of cooperation. The manager responded: "Good luck with that one, pal".

So he posted a retaliatory video on YouTube. The video has since received over 6.1 million hits. United Airlines contacted the musician to attempt settlement in exchange for pulling the video. Naturally, his response was: "Good luck with that one, pal".

Taylor Guitars sent the musician 2 new custom guitars in appreciation for the product recognition from the video that has lead to a sharp increase in orders.

Here's the video ....

Father Christmas

The confessional

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."

Redneck Christmas float

Click image to enlarge.

How I learned to mind my own business

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, And all the patients were shouting, '13.....13....13.' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.....

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting '14.....14....14'...

Hellooooo!

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses." The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Problematic Christmas decoration

The good news is that I truly outdid myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had tons of people come screaming up to my house. But two things made me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."